Let’s be honest—stress is everywhere. It sneaks into our inboxes, lurks in our calendars, and sometimes even follows us to bed. Sleep apnea, anyone? And while deep breaths and meditation sound great in theory, what if I told you there’s a simple, neuroscience-backed way to calm your nervous system and feel like you’re giving yourself a much-needed hug? And you, my friend…can HUG it Out® with yourself in minutes!
Enter Havening Techniques®. powerful self-regulation technique that helps you shift from chaos to calm using nothing more than your own touch. Yes, you read that right. No special equipment, no expensive retreats. Although Havening on the beaches of Costa Rica was pretty awesome if I do say so myself. But this time, it’s just you, your hands, and a little science-backed magic to reset your nervous system. Talk about mental fitness!
As a trauma-informed Certified Havening Techniques Practitioner and Trainer, I’ve seen firsthand how transformative this technique can be—not just for managing everyday stress but for building resilience and de-encoding trauma by rapidly rewiring the brain. By changing your thoughts, moods, behaviors, and habits, Havening also helps you improve focus, support emotional and physical healing, enhance sleep, and elevate performance by strengthening a positive mindset.
Here’s the scoop. Your Amygdala has one job…to keep you alive and safe. That’s it. But, "Amy" the Amygdala also tends to be a bit of a “Negative Nellie” to keep you out of danger. By using Havening Techniques, you’re creating that safe place or “haven” in your mind. In a way, this approach is your Amygdala’s BFF. When you’re "feeling your feels", Havening reminds you that you are safe. It’s one of the reasons why it’s called CPR for the Amygdala®.
The beauty of this technique is that it can be self-applied to self-regulate and self-soothe for self-care. That’s where the magic happens. You are not only producing more Delta Waves, the brain’s slowest moving brain waves that are linked to deep sleep and relaxation. You also release oxytocin (the love/hug hormone), serotonin, dopamine, and GABA. It’s one of the reasons I call it “Brain Candy”. It’s the sweetest way to be kind to your mind…without the cavities. Co-developed by brothers, Doctors Ron and Steve Ruden, Havening can be used anytime and anywhere with just about any upset.
Ready to start Self-Havening right now? Let's HUG it Out!
Step 1: Apply the Gentle Havening Touch®
Havening uses a soothing touch to send calming signals to the brain. You can do this in three ways:
👉 Face: Lightly stroke your forehead and cheeks with open palms, as if giving yourself a gentle massage or applying moisturizer to your face.
👉 Arms: Cross your arms over your chest like you’re giving yourself a hug, and gently stroke downward from your shoulders down to your elbows.
👉 Hands: Rub your palms together or gently massage your hands like you’re washing them or applying lotion.
The repetitive motion generates those delta waves in the brain, helping to create a sense of safety and relaxation.
Step 2: Engage Your Mind with a Positive Distraction/Positive Thought
While applying the Havening Touch, shift your focus away from the upset by bringing something neutral or uplifting to mind. This can be anything that is peaceful and calming.
✅ Count aloud (e.g., count to 20, then backward)
✅ Visualize a peaceful place (a beach, a cozy cabin, or wherever you feel safe)
✅ Sing or hum a song (your brain loves music…vagus nerve: activated!)
✅ Recite positive affirmations (e.g., I am calm, I am safe, I am in control)
The goal is to interrupt the stress response and redirect your brain.
Now, take a deep breath & notice the shift
After a few minutes of Havening, pause and check in with yourself.
🌿 Do you feel calmer?
🌿 Has the emotional charge of a stressful thought decreased?
🌿 Is your body more relaxed?
Most people notice a change almost immediately, but if you still feel tension, repeat the process as you continue to down-regulate.
So, there you have it! You just chose to HUG it Out with yourself and give Self-Havening a try. You’ve got everything you need to put the power of emotional well-being in your hands.
Want to try group Havening? Join me every month for my free Havening Happy Hours where I guide you during an online Havening experience with a little music and movement to be kind to your mind. Plus there's always time for discussion and Q&A with me as your guide and neuroscience is on your side! Register at https://www.hilaryrusso.com/events
If you're interested in bringing Havening into your workplace wellness program or want to explore the Havening Training and Certification, visit https://www.hilaryrusso.com/training.